This I Know

 

First of all, let me declare.… I know nothing. Having said that, I also know that some “truths” feel right to me and give me peace of mind. Here’s a few:

Nothing heals as well as forgiveness. Forgive everyone for everything.

Buddha defined it thus: “Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet gives to the heel that crushes it.”

I spent much of my life carrying resentments around with me everywhere I went. Picture me dragging a huge sack filled with rocks. Not only did I feel the burden of all that weight, but I felt unhappy and didn’t know why. I once heard Mandela say: “When you harbor resentment, it’s as if you drink poison and wait for the other person to die.” I believe that resentments, fermented in the mind, spews forth poison in the body. Even when I felt sick, if I resented my illness, I felt worse. Accepting my illness and doing positive actions to get better lessened the severity of it. This brings me to the second thing I think I know.

Acceptance is the answer to many of my woes. I learned this early, when as a young mother, I prayed to God to heal my deaf baby. In time, it became evident that Michael remained deaf. Then I prayed that an operation could cure him. After consulting many doctors and clinics, I learned that no operation existed to let him hear. My final prayer became one for acceptance of Michael’s deafness and petition to give me the patience and knowledge to help him throughout his life. I realized that in the grand design, Michael’s deafness will serve some purpose, even if it’s only to teach me patience.

When cochlear implants proved successful, I asked Michael if he wanted to have the operation. He said “no.” He has lived his life as a deaf person and feels comfortable in the deaf community. He has no desire to change that.

When I first entered real estate sales, I didn’t have much luck in the beginning. One day I found myself worrying about my finances, my lack of sales and my general fear of failure. Boo Hoo! As I said my morning prayers, I decided to focus on the positive in my life. I had food in the refrigerator, a roof over my head, good health, family and friends. In gratitude, I prayed “Thank you God for all Your blessings. You have always taken care of me and I trust You always will.” I immediately felt better, went to work and in the next week had three listings and two sales. I believe what I focus on, expands, and brings more of it into my life. When I pray with gratitude, more positive events occur.

 I kept a daily journal and wrote in it every night. After the book filled, I put it into a drawer and forgot about it. About three years later, I came across it one day while looking for something else. I sat down to read and laughed out loud at what I read. I no longer remembered the people who pissed me off, nor the incidents that I thought so important.     

It became a great learning experience. Nothing is so important to get into a stew over. I won’t remember it in a year or two. As I’ve aged, I probably will forget in a day or two. Nothing lasts. It even says in the Bible…“and it came to pass,” nowhere does it say ...“and it came to stay.”

I know that as a performer I depend on the director to guide me in my performance. If an actor, singer or dancer tries to tell everyone how to play their part, the show suffers. We have to trust the director to bring the show to a successful conclusion. Everyone has a part to play. Even if I don’t like the character, he/she is crucial to the plot.

So, if “All the world’s a stage and all the men and women merely players,” as Shakespeare once said, then who’s the Director? Certainly not me. God is the director of this melodrama called life on this stage called earth. If I remember this and relinquish control of any situation (I don’t have control anyway) then the play goes smoothly.

I watched a movie called “The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel.” In it, a young boy says “In the end, everything is okay and if it is not okay then it isn’t the end yet.” That speaks to me. I have felt for a long time that every crisis, every stressful situation, every sorrow has a purpose, usually hidden from view. Sometimes in hindsight, I see what purpose the tragedy served; sometimes not, but I believe a purpose exists. It gives me an inner core of peace.

When I get upset over another person’s words or actions, I need to look inward. Whatever I recognize in another, I have within myself. Maybe not the exact words or deeds, but I’ve harbored the same thoughts and behaviors. I’ve never murdered or stole but I’ve gossiped and fudged my tax returns. These are forms of character assassination and stealing. So, each push of my buttons becomes an opportunity for introspection and growth. For in the end, I believe we are all one with God, just as each drop of water is one with the ocean.