Lessons My Mother Taught Me

Aside from the usual lessons in manners, morals, and modesty, my mother also taught me valuable life lessons. At the time, I often thought of it as nagging, but now I see the wisdom within.

Lying: “When you lie, you have to tell a second lie to cover the first and then a third to cover the second. Eventually, you trip yourself up because you can’t remember all the lies you told. You’ll be found out. Then no one will trust you anymore. It’s better to tell the truth from the very beginning,” Mom said.

I tested it in my teens, got caught, and bore the punishment.

Attitude: “It doesn’t matter how much money you have or how pretty you are, if you don’t have a pleasing personality, you won’t have many friends. Money and beauty may attract people at first, but without the personality to go with it, people will tire of you quickly.”

My tendency to stoop over to appear shorter: “Stand up straight. You look worse if you slouch. People are always attracted to tall girls. Look at the models. They are all tall, some over six feet.” 
If I carried too many things at once, Mom called it “a lazy man’s load.”

“Take fewer items and make more trips,” she said. “That way you’re less likely to drop anything.”

Shopping: “For clothes, shop the sales, but always buy good shoes and a good mattress because if you’re not in one you’re in the other.”

Dating:  “Never run after a bus or a man. There is always one coming along behind if you wait a little while.”

Finances: “Always have your own bank account and keep it separate from a joint account; so if you want to buy something, you don’t have to ask your husband for it.”

Child rearing:  “Enjoy them now while they’re young, they grow up so fast.” At the time, tired from overwork, I couldn’t wait for them to grow up. Now I look at their baby pictures with nostalgia and wonder where the years went.

Mom taught me a measure of self-assurance. She often said “You can do anything you put your mind to. Believe the phrase ‘I can’t’ doesn’t exist. Keep at it and you’ll accomplish whatever you want to do.”

 Mom died at age sixty-three.  I often wonder what sage advice I would have learned if she had lived a little longer.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the women in my life, past and present who loved and comforted me.

----Mary Fahey