Aside from the usual lessons in manners, morals, and modesty, my
mother also taught me valuable life lessons. At the time, I often thought of it
as nagging, but now I see the wisdom within.
Lying: “When you lie, you have to tell a
second lie to cover the first and then a third to cover the second. Eventually,
you trip yourself up because you can’t remember all the lies you told. You’ll
be found out. Then no one will trust you anymore. It’s better to tell the truth
from the very beginning,” Mom said.
I tested it in my teens, got caught, and
bore the punishment.
Attitude: “It doesn’t matter how much
money you have or how pretty you are, if you don’t have a pleasing personality,
you won’t have many friends. Money and beauty may attract people at first, but
without the personality to go with it, people will tire of you quickly.”
My tendency to stoop over to appear
shorter: “Stand up straight. You look worse if you slouch. People are always
attracted to tall girls. Look at the models. They are all tall, some over six
feet.”
If I carried too many things at once, Mom
called it “a lazy man’s load.”
“Take fewer items and make more trips,”
she said. “That way you’re less likely to drop anything.”
Shopping: “For clothes, shop the sales, but
always buy good shoes and a good mattress because if you’re not in one you’re
in the other.”
Dating: “Never run after a bus or a man. There is
always one coming along behind if you wait a little while.”
Finances: “Always have your own bank account
and keep it separate from a joint account; so if you want to buy something, you
don’t have to ask your husband for it.”
Child rearing: “Enjoy them now while they’re young, they grow
up so fast.” At the time, tired from overwork, I couldn’t wait for them to grow
up. Now I look at their baby pictures with nostalgia and wonder where the years
went.
Mom taught me a measure of
self-assurance. She often said “You can do anything you put your mind to.
Believe the phrase ‘I can’t’ doesn’t exist. Keep at it and you’ll accomplish
whatever you want to do.”
Mom died at age sixty-three. I often wonder what sage advice I would have
learned if she had lived a little longer.
Happy Mother’s Day to
all the women in my life, past and present who loved and comforted me.
----Mary Fahey
